Humour : Dog refuses to participate in pet fashion show

New Delhi : "Napoleon" the long bodied, short & stubby legged 5 year old dachshund of Mrs Jhumki Thumki, who lives in the posh areas of Greater Kailash II has refused to participate in the local dog fashion show, citing the pressure on him to wear outrageous outfits in front of the other dogs.

In an exclusive interview that we had with Mrs Jhumki Thumki's favorite pet Napoleon, he claimed that in-spite of being highly educated, multi - millionaires, Delhi-ites actually have no fashion sense, and are usually don't care much about their dogs who have often been the subject of much ridicule & fun to the other dogs in the locality (especially other street dogs) as they parade around with really weird hairstyles & make-up that they have to endure to compete in the pet show.

On the other hand Mrs Jhumki Thumki is very upset at her pet dog's refusal to participate in the pet show, as this has robbed her the opportunity to flaunt her new 30 lakh rupee necklace in front of Mrs Arora, who is often seen trying to project her wealth over other ladies in their area kitty party. She claimed that she had spent a fortune on getting a doggy manicure and a expensive hairstylist for Napoleon to participate in the dog show, but was extremely disappointed when he refused to walk the ramp with her....and is now talking of how she had ill-treated her ..............and now is threatening her to report & file a case against her with the PETA......

Please Note : This article is a work of fiction with no disrespect intended on the characters in this article.

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Humour : Local MLA asks police to catch pigeons shitting on his statue

Uttar Pradesh : An MLA in the Uttar Pradesh assembly has ordered his area police to catch and jail pigeons after some of them used his statue as a prime spot to drop their poo.

Mr Banana Singh who won the last assembly elections decided to utilize 90% of the Area development funds to erect a bunch of statues all over his constituency to celebrate his victory.

He claimed that as a member of the lower caste he had done this service to help and empower the other lower caste people in his constituency, by helping the poor and disadvantaged sections of the society feel more confident in striving for a better future, after taking inspiration from his statues.

However most of his joy turned to anger at the sight of pigeons who had desecrated his statue by shitting on it despite his efforts to employ private guards to protect his statue, he has asked his area SP (Superintendent  of Police) to ensure that they catch and punish these pigeons. There have also been talks of him meeting the state finance minister and forcing him to introduce a new fund in the legislative assembly that would help train the local police in “pigeon-catching”

 As an added measure of protection to save his precious statues he has asked the local Mullah to also issue a fatwa to declare the pigeons as the ”Agents of the devil”, and is also contemplating on holding a huge “Yagna” to impress some Hindu gods to help him teach these pigeons a lesson.

Please Note : This article is a work of fiction with no disrespect intended on the characters in this article.

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Humour : High profile MP’s Dog ecstatic at getting Z-plus security cover

Uttar Pradesh : The Union Home Ministry has granted Z-plus security to an Influential high profile MP’s dog. Mr Bhrasht Kutta (Corrupt Dog) the MP’s favorite dog appears quite happy at this decision, he has responded by licking the photograph of the Union Home minister.

   As per RTI reports filed, it appears that Mr Bhrasht Kutta had a lot of security concerns regarding the presence of other dangerous dogs who roamed the streets, as per reports one of these dangerous dogs had barked ferociously at him, when he was urinating on the streetlight that his master had inaugurated a few days ago.

On being asked if there was any chance that he would have be rejected, Mr Kutta angrily barked that if he been rejected,  he would have covered the Home minister’s compound in Delhi with faeces and also bitten his Bottom.

   Now Mr Kutta would have his own entourage of 36 personnel with a couple of highly trained NSG Super black-cat commandos personally standing guard whenever he is urinating on any parked car or streetlight in his neighborhood, he would also get his own bullet & bomb proof vehicle with 2 police pilot cars all paid and financed by the taxpayer.

So now Mr Kutta is expectedly quite overjoyed with this development and is waiting  to show off his importance & his new security cover in front of the area sweetheart “Miss Kuttia” so as to increase  his chances of procreation with her….

Please Note : This article is a work of fiction with no disrespect intended on the characters in this article.

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Humour : Monkey fools Delhi University girls on Facebook

New Delhi : it has come to our notice that a Monkey in the Delhi zoo who is named “Prince” has opened a Facebook account and has befriended hundreds  of girls in Delhi, by posting a picture of a local TV actor on his profile.

All this started when some Indian scientists working in a nearby research laboratory installed a computer with an internet connection to study the intelligence of caged monkey’s .

A monkey called “Prince” who also the most mischievous little simian of the whole lot ( As per the zoo director) showed a lot of interest in this funny machine that made weird noises and showed great pictures.

As per the researchers this "Smart" simian was able to not only browse the internet but also make effective use of a popular social networking website to make a fool out of more educated being (The average Delhi – female).

Girls in Delhi have taken an umbrage to this event and have launched an agitation to remove “Prince” from Facebook, One DU girl Miss Jhumki Thumki has tweeted that “This event shows that the all-male creatures in the ape genealogy suffer from the MCP (Male Chauvinistic Pig) syndrome and should be horribly punished for attempts to make a fool out of the fairer sex.”

After this tweet a group of Delhi university girls landed up outside Prince’s cage in the zoo and started raising slogans against him. “Prince” & his monkey friends have responded by throwing their fecal matter at the girls……..

Please Note : This article is a work of fiction with no disrespect intended on the characters in this article.

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