Humour : Tv Saas finally dies after attending the marriage of her 7th generation offspring

Mumbai : We finally have reports coming in that character Badi Mummy (Great Mother) in the TV soap  Kyunki Great Great Great Grand Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi nicknamed as KGGGGSBKBTin the TV soap circles has finally died after watching her 7^th generation offspring getting married.

The scriptwriters utilized an entire episode to portray her death which happened as she accidentally stepped on a sharp object while performing a perfect 10 minute jig on the latest Bollywood item-song ”Sheila Ki jawani”, The TV scriptwriters mentioned that she could be between 180-200 years old.

After watching the tearful demise of Badi Mummy on TV, one fan of this serial Mr Couch potato burst into tears, he had been an ardent follower of KGGGGSBKBT and has professed to have watched all the 900 episodes right from the time that Badi Mummy was a 6 year old girl to the 200 year old lady appearing on TV in the past 6 years.

Apparently this death on TV has caused a lot of grief to all the ladies in India who used to watch this serial and were quite big admirers of Badi Mummy. There has been some friction between the producer & the director of the show about the death as the producer wanted to make sure that she would be alive to see her 10^th generation offspring as well. “You see the show must go on” he lamented “The Indian public loves some drama, so what if she is 300 years old”.

The actress who plays Badi Mummy on the other hand is not quite keen on her continuing the show as she had to perform  6 different roles in the serial where she had to play the identical looking role of the mother & daughter 3 times, and was tired of her showing up as being kidnapped  (21 Times) and falling in love (18 times).

The writer of the soap appeared too confused to comment with the way the story was progressing, as apparently he had forgotten how many generations had passed with Badi Mummy in the lead role.

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Humour : Delhi Cows lead protest against the increasing number of motor vehicles

A flash herd of 300 cows suddenly appeared on Jantar Mantar with placards saying “Save the Cows”, protesting for their right to squat roam and defecate openly on delhi’s roads which is under threat due to the increasing number of vehicles that have clogged delhi’s roads.

Mr Holy Cow the self-appointed head  of the “Delhi Roads are for Cows Only” Association states that due to the increasing number of vehicles they have been forced to be careful when crossing roads, and their rights to openly squat & defecate on the streets is being slowly taken away by the neighbourhood Hyundai i10, he also pointed that delhites  are becoming more violent, as earlier people used to just wait or honk or shoo off cows that blocked their paths, but now due to the changing times people have begun prodding them with sticks to make them go away.

“The situation is worrisome” stated one more association member Mr Black Cow as he explained that this trend is quite troubling  as cows are increasingly running out of places where they could openly defecate and also in some instances poke people with their horns, which some cows find pretty entertaining considering the boring lives that most of them lead.

We tried to meet the Commissioner of the Municipal corporation who could not reach office as a cow had blocked the road that he was travelling on, and he could not find a stick to prod the cow with to make it go away.

“This grave injustice to the Cow will not be tolerated and we will attack any Municipal officer if this continues” said a bull who refused to be named.  He also mentioned that they know that they are being side-lined as they could not vote and said that they had been contemplating about arguing their case in the Supreme court to get their voting rights, and would attack any lawyer who would oppose their petition.

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Humour : Digvijay Singh’s dog Dogvijay attacks Delhiites thinking that they are RSS workers

We have fresh reports coming about a dog allegedly owned by Digvijay Singh loose on Delhi’s streets often seen  growling and uttering at what seems to be “Aaarr ess ess” and attacking ordinary citizens.

On being asked on the reasons for the behaviour of the dog, Mr Gali ka Kutta the local streetdog who used to be pals with Dogvijay when they were puppies explained that this was a clear case of the “RSS paranoia” being fed into Dogvijay by Digvijay Singh, apparently Dogvijay has been accompanying his master to every political & media gathering and has developed a paranoia that the people from the RSS who are actually blood sucking vampires in disguise, & only he has the power to eliminate these monstrous beings from the face of the planet by biting their behind's.

After taking a lot of precautions we finally managed to gather some guts to approach Dogvijay and ask him about his reasons and the cause of such panic that he has brought on the common man on the roads of delhi, he replied that “RSS people are the direct descendants of some evil decendent of Satan and are just pure evil and are hell bent on destroying Congress party’s already tattered reputation, and I must do my part, period. ”.

To the Aam Aadmi I guess this means some more days of dogvijay running loose till an alternative party forms a government and hopes to muzzle Dogvijay and save his teeth from the behind’s of the Common Man of India.

Please Note : This article is a work of fiction with no disrespect intended on the characters in this article.

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Humour: Lalit Modi to start new Gilli Danda Premier League.

Lalit Modi who successfully created the money making machine called IPL has threatened to start a new Gilli Danda Premier League after he moved out of the IPL. On being asked by the new management as “Humare paas Gaadi hai, Bungalow hai, Bank Balance hai, tere paas kya hai ?” , He replied “Mere Paas Gilli Danda hai” and walked out of the board room.

Reports are coming in that he has already roped in Salim Langda, Chotta Chaatri and a very reluctant 70 year old Ramu Kaka to be the initial players, he has also contacted the D-Company to be the initial financiers who would fund the GDPL .

On being asked as to what made him choose this sport when he could focus on other sports like football, he replied that Gilli Danda is a sport that is easily identified in the rural areas, as this is a cheap sport and as the initial capital input will be less, he hopes to increase the brand value of the sport by roping in some cheerleaders from the West and giving them only biknis to wear while cheering up the various teams and also the thousands of rural supporters that he hopes to garner.

We also asked Goli Singh a villager on what he thought of this GDPL he replied that it is good that Gilli Danda is being promoted as he had a lot of practice when he was a kid at hitting the Gilli, And also enthusiastically agreed to watch each and every match on hearing that there would be skimpily clad firangi cheerleaders who would be employed by Modi to support this GDPL .

Please Note : This article is a work of fiction with no disrespect intended on the characters in this article.

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